Matchmaker Xellos
by MoonPrincess623
Summary: Xellos is bored beyond belief and wants something to do, he see’s Lina is bored and Zel muttering Lina’s name, he gets an idea; he was going to play Matchmaker, oh the horror! ZL R&R please. COMPLETE
1. Bored

Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers, end of story, the plot I beleive is mine. Though this is one of the few stories I have that don't contain my OC! Now that I think about it...my oneshots don't have her in it (except my 2 Claymore ONESHOTS one is a sequel). Anyway this is a 2 shot so hope you like it.

Summery: Xellos is bored beyond belief and wants something to do, he see's Lina is bored and Zel muttering Lina's name, he gets an idea; he was going to play Matchmaker, oh the horror! ZL

Authors Note: I have planned a couple of sequels to this, three at the most. GS, MF, and A with someone, maybe a random prince, give me ideas and I will produce. If the charactors are OOC I AM SORRY, I can't help it, I don't plan too, I try to keep them the way they are but...damn the plot and everything takes over, NOT MY FAULT! BLAME THE PLOT! COUGH anyway hope you like this! ENJOY AND REVIEW!

**Matchmaker Xellos**

**Chapter 1-Bored**

Xellos was bored, no wars, no fighting, no nothing since the battle with Darkstar. A few seconds later he got a great idea! He would spy on people! But the problem was who to spy on, maybe that group of humans the ones who the Gods and the Mazoku had to look out for. So Lina was a given but who else? Maybe that Chimera who was always fun to tease for Xellos, yeah he had two people to spy on now. Xellos imitated Lina and rubbed his hands together of course he wasn't after treasure or anything like that—like Lina would be—just some entertainment, this was going to be so much fun.

Lina was with that idiot swordsman…which made Xellos think didn't he lose the Sword of Light, so why was Lina running around with him still? Without that sword he was useless, even if he had a regular sword he couldn't really fight the things Lina attracts. It wasn't because she loved that idiot, because Xellos knew she loved someone else.

What did he just hear Lina say? Could it be she was bored? Not only that he could feel her boredom, it matched his own too She didn't say it once she said it over and over too. So now he was sure she had said it in the first place and didn't just make it up.

It was said that someone who Chaos followed like a dog on a leash was bored, Xellos sighed and moved on to spying on Zel, he had thought Lina would be more fun but it seemed that she was not and he hoped that Zel would.

Zel of course was moping around… as usual. He was muttering something and Xellos had to concentrate to hear it. Xellos smiled when he heard what the Chimera was muttering, he was muttering about Lina. That was when Xellos starting thinking about Lina…she was bored! So Xellos being the smart Mazoku he is came up with the most awesome idea ever! It would solve everyone's problem, his and Lina's boredom and Zel wanted Lina! He would be…Matchmaker Xellos!

And anyone in their right minds know that if a Mazoku ever say they have a great or awesome idea it isn't something good, it could never be good, well not for the ones who were included in the 'idea'. Most would say to Xellos if he told him that was: OH THE HORROR! GOD HELP US ALL! SAVE US! Etc, you know the drill; I can bet you can add more…colorful things to say to that.

So Xellos teleported back to Zel and poor Zel jumped a mile high when Xellos said, "Hello Zel-kun!" So if we said Zel was a little startled it would have been an understatement. His face turned as pale as it could get, he did have blue skin after all so it was a little hard to tell. Anyway his face was livid with anger as he marched right up to Xellos, fixing to start chewing his ass out. His tone matched his feelings, which poor Zel should have learned by now Xellos feed off of his negative emotions. Wouldn't the angry Chimera ever learn?

"You damn fruitcake! What the hell? Do you get off on scaring the shit out of me like that? What the hell is your problem and get that damn weird grin off your fruitcake face of yours."

Xellos laughed and said, "I am the answer to your problems…wait Zel-kun don't walk off when I am talking to you. Just listen and hear me out for once. I know where Lina-san is…" Xellos smiled even more, if that was possible for a Mazoku; he was actually feeling happy, if that was again possible. He had to hurry before the shock wore off; at least he had Zel-kun interested, so far so good.

The Chimera was putty in his hands…yet again; it was so easy to manipulate him. It was easy to manipulate everyone, the only human that was hard for him to do that too was Lina Inverse, but she was special. Even he could see that, and he was a freaking Mazoku for goodness sakes.

Xellos told Zel that he was going to…lead him to Lina-san! Zel's face was priceless. After of course he talked to her, then Xellos and Zel started talking and making plans. They ended up with a plan before long…well Xellos certainly did.

**MMX**

Xellos delivered on his promise and he went to go talk to Lina, he scared the shit out of her too, but there is a big difference between Lina and Zel, Xellos should have remembered. He didn't get a lecture or was being chewed out; no he got that lecture/chew out mixed with physical abuse, pain—just what he loved.

Of course he didn't mind being physically abused and having pain, he loved it and when Lina dear had finally realized this; she stopped and muttered, "Damn pessimistic, sadistic, masochistic MAZOKU!"

Xellos laughed, she was right about a few things, he was a pessimist, but a masochistic and sadistic Mazoku? He had to think about that one he was….maybe a little of both. He decided to give her a little credit.

He dropped and discarded those thoughts and went back to what he was doing, "Now, now Lina-san don't get mad, but I have been watching you ever since we first met—"

She didn't let him finish, "Y...You…you staking mother—" again she was about to sock him one, but stopped when he rolled his eyes at her, he had never done that before, so of course it made her stop.

"Now, now Lina-san _listen _to me. As I said I have been watching and I have noticed the way you talk to Zel-kun and the way you look at him," he wanted a reaction out of her and boy did he get one. She blushed madly, Xellos pushed her even further, and this was just too much fun he had to go on. He rubbed his hands together and continued on; he had her in just the right spot.

"I have seen the way you act around him too, you hit me more then you hit him! And you don't hit me that much…anymore. You always talk to him as an equal, you talked to him about routes, magic anything Lina-san, everything. You hate it when Amelia gets around him, she totally loves him and you can't stand it, you think she may take him away one day. I can feel the emotions you have when you are around him. Tell me something Lina-san."

He glazed into her eyes, oh yeah he had her in the perfect spot now, just one little push to go.

"Why did you kiss that jellyfish brains guy and act like you love him if you really and truly love Zel-kun?"

She broke, he felt bad now, it wasn't a joke anymore this was serious and though he loved negative emotions and all, this was something he couldn't feed on, he hated seeing Lina like this. She was always so strong, but now, look at what he did to her. He shook his head. But he had to continue on.

He had her in his hands, when she blushed she gave herself away. Good, it wasn't like he thought, she wasn't going to cry and do all that girly stuff. She was putty in his hands now, just like Zel. He laughed evilly on the inside; if he did it out loud it would ruin everything.

"So Lina-san what will you do? Leave the stupid ass I will not, I refuse name to his priestess, which we all know he loves. Let's make a plan Lina-san, for you to meet Zel. Don't worry I will find him for you…please don't hit me Lina-san I am trying to help…sigh…right there…no lower…to the left...yeah hit me there Lina-san…thanks that itch is gone now."

He laughed as he teleported away, leaving a very, very angry, confused and blushing Lina Inverse behind. Maybe he shouldn't have done that, it just made her really mad. But it sure as hell was funny!


	2. Matchmaking Time

Authors Note: THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER HOPE U LIKED IT! Remember to read after the end! 10-18-08 NEW NEWS READ!!

**Matchmaker Xellos**

**Chapter 2-Matchmaking Time**

Xellos chuckled knowing this would be so much fun. He did as he told Lina he would do. Déjà vu here, didn't he just do this a moment ago? Didn't he just do what he told Zel he was going to do? And now he is doing just what he told Lina he was going to do, this was just too complicated, but one thing was for sure. He was being a good little Mazoku today.

He shook his thoughts of that off, he had to focus. He was going to take away Lina-san's boredom. He told Zel…wait what did he tell Zel? All that Xellos remembered was that they had _tried_ to come up with a plan, key word here: tried, but sadly they couldn't come up with anything. Thought it was for lack of trying, they spent like an hour or two trying to come up with something, yet they yielded no results.

So he had to come up with what they had to do himself. It wasn't really that hard though, the only question is what was to do. He had the main ideas, but…how to make it come together he had no idea. Of course just like before he got a great idea. And again this is where I have to point that the thing about Mazoku or Xellos—mainly—getting a great idea, or an idea in general is bad, and I mean REALLY BAD, the bad that says THE WORLD IS GOING TO END…that bad.

His plan was to get some of his minions…wait they didn't like being called minions anymore and the stupid dumbasses went to the union about it. Which surprised both him and his Master because they didn't know unions existed for Mazoku…surly they would have heard about them? And to add to that they were Mazoku for fucks sake, Mazoku didn't have unions, which was so unlike a Mazoku…being in love, just wrong and unnatural.

Anyway to correct himself he used underlings…damn that was on the list of what they can't be called. What wasn't on the list? Servant or was it on there too? Was it the only one that wasn't?

He sighed. He summoned who ever they were and told them to kidnap Gourry while he distracted Lina-san…a few minutes later screaming was heard and just like that Gourry had been kidnapped. Lina was actually debating over whether to be happy or to be furious; it was a tough call too.

Xellos laughed on the inside and it seemed in the end Lina decided to not be furious but be a little mad and annoyed and go after him. She was intended to kick his ass too, not only the ones who kidnapped him.

Xellos quickly left where Lina was and teleported to where Zel was and took him back to where Gourry was being kept and only told him that Gourry was kidnapped and Lina needed his help.

They ended up rescuing the poor jellyfish brain dumbass, but in the end Lina blew up a big piece of land around where he was being held prisoner, and ended up killing Xellos'…whatever they were.

When everything was over and done with Xellos noted that they seemed closer but not close enough. It seemed that whatever happened inside of that kidnapping/hostage/thing place brought them closer but not enough.

Sigh…he had to do even more then he had already had done, this was just getting so troublesome. He started thinking about what to do when Lina hit him on the head.

"Ow, Ow, Ow Lina-san what was that for? I don't think I have done anything…today to warrant such abuse. Though," he said with a smirk. "I do like it, can we continue where we left off before I left you earlier today?" Though he did give her a little sexy grin and dodged the other attack she threw at him.

Lina was blushing, but glared at him and it was fading. "You fool you were ignoring me! Anyway tell me how did Zel seem to know to come and help me rescue that dumbass called jellyfish brains? And where did he come from? How did he get here so fast? What the hell did you do Xellos? No, the question is what the hell are you doing?"

Xellos for once in all of his VERY LONG life—which Gourry had once pointed it out to him…them all once, he tried to forget that incident—and just lost his patience, he opened his eyes fully and glared at Lina. Who was being smart and jumped back and hid behind Zel. Zel wasn't shaking on the outside but inside he sure as hell was doing more the shaking.

"Lina-san my patience with you on this subject has run thin. You claim you are so smart yet you are ignoring stuff that is right in front of you! How long have you known me? Do I tell you what I am doing? You two," pointing to Zel and Lina both, "love each other yet do nothing about it."

He turned to Zel around and pushed him on Lina and left, his job was done. He heard Gourry scream, and let me tell you how…girly it sounded. It was very unmanly. He as a mercenary for goodness sakes, he shouldn't sound like a girl.

Xellos didn't want or need to see Zel kiss Lina. Well, even though he was the one who made them do it in the first place so…now that he thought about what he did; he was kind of worried for Lina since Zel weighs a ton…oh well let them deal with it. He had done enough!

The point wasn't that he didn't want to see them kiss—he really honest to God, didn't want to see that—the point was he had had enough of all this love shit, it was way too complicated. He was a Mazoku for crying out loud. Why the hell was he doing God stuff and matchmaking people?

He gasped and shook his head; he was still a little upset. He laughed and calmed down till he was calm again. He had to think again why was he going through all of this again, being a matchmaker and all. He thought for a moment and remembered. Oh yeah, it was because he was bored beyond belief, that was way…

He thought about it now, he was bored as hell…again. Since that little entertainment was gone, he was bored yet again. Maybe since it took his boredom off before…wouldn't it take it off again?

Now that he knew what he was going to do, the only question was who was he going to matchmake?

He thought of that priestess who was with the gang, not much but a little. She was there during the battle with Hellmaster Phibrizzo. He also knew that she was the only who was in love with the jellyfish brains, how she was no one would ever know—or wanted to know—but the jellyfish brains was stupid and would need that extra little push just like Lina and Zel did…knowing him it would have to be a big giant push.

Xellos rubbed his hands together again…he had a new plan.

_**THE END**_

LOOK FOR MATCHMAKER XELLOS AT IT AGAIN! The sequel to MMX!

10/18/08-I have good news! The series is Complete! Well...on paper I still need to type them up! There are 4 stories in this series. MMX at it again; MMX...again?; MMX for the last time. 4 stories in total, only 3 left to go. I have decided to put these up in between my other ones, like once I finish a story, this comes up, both chapters together.

TTFN--

Panda-chan (moon)


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